EileenDreams
More Eileen

EileenDreams

Card Creator & Photographer at EileenDreams
Eileen is making the world a kinder place one card at a time. She studies graphic design and languages of the web but mainly she practices making people feel better with old school snail mail cards that feature photos of this beautiful world and kind and inspiring messages.
EileenDreams
More Eileen
At the time, I thought this was sweet. I should have known better.

At the time, I thought this was sweet. I should have known better.

Ok, I am going to go completely off topic here today but it is a pretty good and true story. I titled it BFR to keep this family rated and also because of a joke my friend told me years ago that I always thought was funny, but I digress….I’ll give you a hint “The B stands for Big and the R stands for Rat, the F was not FUN at all.

I have a cat named Charlie. He is an illegal cat – aka “No pets allowed” where I live. Neither Charlie nor I are used to living in an apartment and Charlie is an outdoorsy kinda guy. In an unfortunate (and previous) incident I discovered that he can hop off my second floor balcony quite easily. In a more recent incident, I discovered that he can also hop back up onto the balcony with live birds in his mouth. This discovery lead to a shrill scream in my kitchen before 7 one morning last week and I am still surprised no neighbours checked in on me shattering my “safe good neighbour feeling”.

Anyways, after a lovely evening spent with my good friend Bob trying to explain binary and Boolean and why I need to understand it for my javascript course, interjected with not terribly patient comments, I returned home early enough to let my short hairy roommate out (which btw, I should also point out – is not my cat – he is my son’s cat) for some fresh air. Soon, Charlie was clawing at the sliding glass door to get in. Unfortunately, being distracted by my homework, and not learning from last week’s bird killer incident, I blindly let Charlie in.

Holy Sh****!!! He had something in his mouth!! And it was alive! And it was a Big F Rat!! OMG! And it got away!! Think! F! Think! F! It was BiG! I didn’t have any Tupperware big enough to contain it. (I always think Tupperware will save me) I figure I have 2 choices = 1. Run down the hall screaming like a banshee – HELP!!! but then the BFR might run under my bed or HIDE! Then What??? OK – think QUICK! Choice # 2. Contain the BFR – back to thought # 1. I don’t have Tupperware big enough. Sh**! So I ran into the kitchen, opened the cupboard under the sink, grabbed out the garbage can, grabbed the garbage bag, placed it on the kitchen floor so that it wouldn’t dump (I’m kinda a neat freak), Ran back down the hall and threw the garbage can over the BFR. But it was a BIG BFR and it’s tail stuck out from under the garbage can and those tails don’t have hair on them. That BFR was mad and his tail was squirming all over my rug like a SNAKE (and I REALLY REALLY don’t like snakes) YUCK!!! Now what am I going to do? Luckily I’m a crafty sort of person and always have a good sturdy piece of cardboard saved “just in case”. So, I slid that piece of cardboard under the garbage can, picked it all up and hurled it over my balcony. It hit with a sickening “thud”. I honestly thought I was liberating that BFR while saving my apartment.

Then I wanted to barf.

Yup. This is my hairy little roommate.

Yup. This is my hairy little roommate.