Latest posts by EileenDreams (see all)
- Happy Thanksgiving! - October 7, 2017
- Single Female in Mexico. Is She Nuts? Part 3 - April 8, 2017
- Single, Female, and Safe in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Part 2 - April 6, 2017
Ok, I am going to go completely off topic here today but it is a pretty good and true story. I titled it BFR to keep this family rated and also because of a joke my friend told me years ago that I always thought was funny, but I digress….I’ll give you a hint “The B stands for Big and the R stands for Rat, the F was not FUN at all.
I have a cat named Charlie. He is an illegal cat – aka “No pets allowed” where I live. Neither Charlie nor I are used to living in an apartment and Charlie is an outdoorsy kinda guy. In an unfortunate (and previous) incident I discovered that he can hop off my second floor balcony quite easily. In a more recent incident, I discovered that he can also hop back up onto the balcony with live birds in his mouth. This discovery lead to a shrill scream in my kitchen before 7 one morning last week and I am still surprised no neighbours checked in on me shattering my “safe good neighbour feeling”.
Holy Sh****!!! He had something in his mouth!! And it was alive! And it was a Big F Rat!! OMG! And it got away!! Think! F! Think! F! It was BiG! I didn’t have any Tupperware big enough to contain it. (I always think Tupperware will save me) I figure I have 2 choices = 1. Run down the hall screaming like a banshee – HELP!!! but then the BFR might run under my bed or HIDE! Then What??? OK – think QUICK! Choice # 2. Contain the BFR – back to thought # 1. I don’t have Tupperware big enough. Sh**! So I ran into the kitchen, opened the cupboard under the sink, grabbed out the garbage can, grabbed the garbage bag, placed it on the kitchen floor so that it wouldn’t dump (I’m kinda a neat freak), Ran back down the hall and threw the garbage can over the BFR. But it was a BIG BFR and it’s tail stuck out from under the garbage can and those tails don’t have hair on them. That BFR was mad and his tail was squirming all over my rug like a SNAKE (and I REALLY REALLY don’t like snakes) YUCK!!! Now what am I going to do? Luckily I’m a crafty sort of person and always have a good sturdy piece of cardboard saved “just in case”. So, I slid that piece of cardboard under the garbage can, picked it all up and hurled it over my balcony. It hit with a sickening “thud”. I honestly thought I was liberating that BFR while saving my apartment.
Then I wanted to barf.